How ahve usually done my "year in review"...

Those of you who know me mite think ahm a pretty introspective guy. Ah won't argue w. that - ahm especially intae anniversaries n thangs along those lines. Fer many MANY years while ahve appreciated tha new year as a new beginnin, whar ahve REALLY gawten my "new beginnins" from is summer UU hippy-type conferences. This started at SUUSI, as ah came back from my first year thar a changed person. Tha years that ensued, ah noticed growth. Summer is often more of a time ta reinvent yerself then January anyway, n as SUUSI became constant (more so then otha thangs in my life), ah started feelin like that was my way of markin 1 more year.

Eventually, SUUSI turned intae opus. Ah remembah tha first year ah missed a summer conference - n it felt like stagnation. It was hard ta git a new handle on my life n whar ah was gaein w.o trekkin off ta some campus er woods n spend in a few days w. engagin, challengin, n unconditionally lovin people. Tha next year ah was determined - so determined ah spent 2 days in a dyin car w. someone who drove me absolutely nuts.

But, it werked. Ah came back from these thangs a new person - n many times w. a completely different take on bass playin. Ah was able ta judge myself n whar ah was gaein (n wanted ta be gaein) so much bettah fer those days of isolation n (at least sometimes) relaxation.

N now, thars this year. Now, ah did indeed gae ta a summer UU conference - tha largest one out thar actually. But GA happens in convention centers in cities - nawt relaxed college campuses er idyllic wilderness retreats. N GA is bizness - while thar is definitely a social aspect, n thar are some workshops n worships that are more spiritually enlightenin then othas, GA makes nae qualms about bein about tha bizness - so thas what you git outta it.

Don't think ahm complainin - ahve had some really good times at this GA n GA's past. Highlights from this year included naked Atlantic swimmin past midnite in watah unbelievably warm - somethang ahve nawt always found at otha more social conferences. N GA challenges ya ta evaluate yer UUism, somethang you ken git away w.o daein at otha conferences. But it didn't recharge me in tha same way - especially w my volunteer position endin when it did (which is a blessin in many ways, but still leaves me a lil sad).

So ahm left in a place whar ah dont quite know how ta proceed - ah feel ahm on tha cusp of some really great thangs here in SF (altho my room is totally a mess n ah cant imagine bein here past october), but ah dont have that same place ta come from whar ah feel renewed n ready fer action. Instead, ahm almost in a place whar ahm just daein tha same thang since ah left off. While thas nawt entirely true, its also nawt entirely false.

While thars still a million ways ah ken re-engage w. myself n tha communities around me, thar is one fact - as great as GA ken be (n ah really enjoyed this year), it's nae Opus er SUUSI. N ah dont know exactly what ta dae about that.