Why You Should Nevah Give Yer Numbah Ta Someone At a Yoga Studio

(Even if you both werk-trade thar).

Ah was awkwardly "picked up" yestahday mornin (it's in quotes b/c her actual intentions ahve yet ta decipher) by a fellow werk-trader. We exchanged awkward pleasantries in tha mornin, she laughed at my jokes, n then ended up stayin fer a second class ("because it was rainin - a lil weird, but ah was maybe flattered?). She also moved her mat rite next ta mine which was also strange. Actually, she asked fer my numbah before all that - she asked what my cell was n when ah asked her why, she stammered "so ah ken put it in my phone." Fair enuff, n ah like women who pursue thangs/people they like, so ah gave it ta her. Ah asked "So what happens now" n she told me "you'll see." Ah guess ah saw, but ah definitely don't unnerstand (please note that ah have paid tha utmost attention ta detail in recreatin these text messages):

Crazy Yoga Girl (11:30 am - just after giving her my number): may i Plz hau That Nmbr?

Me (3:28 pm): Welcome to my phone book, cyg, mission accomplished. How are u spendin the rest of this Sunday?

CYG (4:10 pm): TxtualRelationz1drfl (this translates to "Textual Relations -- see Urban Dictionary, Wonderful (1drfl - ah had ta look it up too).

Me (4:27 pm): Yer textin is more advanced then mine but ah ken find online translations. Nae such reference guide exists fer mine yet.

Me (5:13 pm): Longest nite! (in case she was shy or whatever, I'm at least trying to encourage conversation...nawt fer much longah tho)

Me (6:38 pm): *fizzle* (as in my interest)

CYG (1:07 pm): WutLiz@TBTOfTOcnNShAks?GiuUp?ANerusWrek (eventually this was deciphered as "What Lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? Give up? A Nervous Wreck." I'm getting tired of this by now)

Me (1:41 pm): Unsubzkribe

CYG (1:46 pm): IDGI (I don't get it)

Me (1:55 pm): Nae mas porfa. Gratzi n ciao

CYG (1:57 pm): GratzUhurtMyFelngs.DoYQMe? (Great, you hurt my feelings, do you question me?)

Me (2:50 pm): The recipient of this message will no longer accept texts that require translation from your number. Please reformat and try again.

CYG (3:48 pm): ThatWuzAJOk.DoUNoAboutTheCarpets?Thnx4kpnquiet abt it. (I have no idea what this is)

Me (3:52 pm): Message undeliverable, the recipient is bored w this.

CYG (4:24 pm): AUI?WutzFizle? (beats the hell out of me)

Me (4:41 pm): Totally lame, im blocking all texts from this number now. Really (this was her last chance...)

CYG (4:44 pm): QL:QuitLaughingAUI:

Me (4:45 pm): That was the last one

and then I blocked her on Sprint.

Ah can't help but thank its nawt actually a person who was daein this, some fawked up computah thang, but eitha way:

Don't Evah Give Yer Numbah Ta Someone At a Yoga Studio - even if they are cute and flexible.

Da Bitches be KERAZZY this weekend

somethang about tha end of tha year maybe? Ah dinnae. But somethangs gawt intae tha women of SF this weekend. Ah've been:

-affectionately verbally assaulted on tha web by someone ah hadn't met
-written by thrice my usual amount of females on tha internet datin site ahm (kind of) usin
-made plans w. someone that sounded very enthusiastic about what looked like a lawt of fun n then canceled on me last minute w.o an explanation, via text.
-ignored by one of tha few people ah am interested in n subsequently gawt bumped intae "maybe we'll hang out next year" despite her claimed interest
-kissed on tha mouth by an unattractive mostly-stranger
-picked up at tha yoga studio only ta be texted inane lolcatz-typed slang n then ignored (ah think this last one is messin w. my head tha most)

Anyway, whatevs. Couple more days ahll be outta here n by tha time ah come back ahm hopin ta have a great week, hopefully sans too many of tha nutzos (altho ahm sure ah won't avoid em all - that would be borin). Maybe it's tha beard?

All ah really want fer xmass...

- Bike modifications (specifically, fenders and a carrying case that won't interfere w. how ah lock it up. Ah rode my bike in tha pourin rain today (how pourin? Ah was tha only cyclist on valencia street. Apparently ahm more crazy then tha rest of tha San Franciscans) n about halfway thar ah noticed my back tire was sprayin water all ovah tha ass-part of my jeans. Luckily ah dae have some bike pants donated from a friend of my old landlady.

- Down time to play my bass (likely ta occur).

- A new computer (hahahahha)

- An Ampeg SVT-410HLF. Ahve wanted one of these fer ages n was able ta play on one last week at tha think13 gig w. my current head n it sounded phenomenal. Ahm hopin by my birthday ahll have enuff? Eh, maybe more like June.

- Tha Rockit Room ta gae out of bizness - WTB had a gig scheduled but b/c our bookin agent couldn't guarantee more then 80 people (pretty good fer a shitty club on a Wednesday tha week before Xmass ah think), they shut tha gig off (they wanted at least 125. Fawk that place.)

- My wrist to completely heal

- A vaporizer. Oh wait, ah bought myself one of them last month.

Happy Yule ta everyone. Ah hope you spend tha season warm w. people you love. Ahll be in just-gawt-ovah-a-foot-of-snow Buffalo, NY fer a few days, n then back here fer a stay-cation. Just in time.

Rate my quiz high! Hate tha otha one!

I wrote a quiz on Hello Quizzy and entered in their "The 80s" contest. Not only was writing the test a lot of fun, but I'm actually in 2nd place in both categories (quality and amount of test takers). Usually I don't get all that competitive, but the test that is beating me in quality SUCKS! It's a 16 Candles Trivia test, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the writer doesn't even score your results. I've spent 7 hours or so on making mine as good as possible, and this loser took 80 minutes and then stopped short.

SO! HELP ME WIN!
Take my quiz - What Kind of 80s Metal Are You? and give it a rating!

Then, take the other quiz - 16 Candles Trivia and when you realize it sucks, give it a rating!

And let me know what kind of heavy metal you are - the results still need some tweaking ah think.

Godspeed!

Fawkin Prop 8

Prop 8 forced the state of California to only legalize marriages between a male and female (I wonder what CA's official status on a heterosexual marriage between two transgendered (or just one) people would be. My guess is it might just be totally legal....but ahm makin that up). Anyway, tha point is, that Prop 8 passed, n that proposition was so inhumane n evil n christian it made me swear at high skool students from a bus window. N ah like, NEVAH dae that anymore.

Anyway, ah made a friend in 9th grade on my skool bus. We had lil in common, expect fer likin booze n hard punk. Somehow, we've maintained contact and friendship all these years. We disagree on pretty much everythang, as hes mostly conservative n ahm, well, you know, me. But we've maintained a friendship and respect for each otha despite all that.

But ah was just chattin with him, n he told me he opposed tha backlash ta proposition 8 because it was voted on. N ah can't hang w. that. Yes, his point is that if voters vote on it then its law - but somethangs are rite, n some are fawking wrong. Ah git democracy n all that shite, but if you can't take tha blinders off n recognize that people are fawkin idiots n mite vote ta support bullshite, then fawk off.

Ah blocked him. That might be tha booze ah drank at tha event ah just catered (hippy uu medievil gothick weddin), but really, prop 8 is so evil n stupid n ugly enuff that ah have lil problem cashin in a friendship of 13 years fer.

Seriously CJ - we knew this time would come. See ya on tha otha side....


I'd love to title this caption "asshole" but I'm not queer so think it doesn't totally werk, but my said friend IS married

Cracks me up/WTF

In the last month or so, I've had a few "dates". Some were actually "not-dates", as in, the person had specifically stated that they were not interested in dating, but still interested in meetin me. Ahm generally okay w. this, altho ahve resolved nawt ta dae it w. anyone who doesn't have obvious similarities with me anymore. Cuz, Ahm So Vain....

Tha thang that cracks me up tho, is only two of those "actual dates" have resulted in me bein interested in seein tha person again. N both of thar names is sara(h). How bout that?

(haha, at least none of them spell it all stupid like!)

Anutha weekend in the Mission....

I love love LOVE the mission. Today I went out for a couple hours, bought a suitcase (thats small enuff fer carryon but big enuff ta hold stuff!), a new backpack (old one died n tha ones from werk are junk), a soft zippered hoodie (from a thrift store), a tamale, a belt, and some socks for 60 bux. I almost bought a grinder but it was too expensive - next paycheck tho!

Last night was a fun night - I went to this work/live/artspace studio in the lower Haight where a bunch of bands played and they had a bake sale to raise money to get tubes to bring light from outside into their work space and not to spend money/energy powering the tons of lights they have in there. But the really cool part was actually the journey to/from. About 9 of us met up at a local bike shop, had a beer, and then biked there together. While not Critical Mass it did give us the presence of a vehicle. We stuck to traditional bike routes so we didn't really fawk up traffic that much, but it felt really awesome to be part of a temporary bike gang as we all made our way to alcohol and musick.

Oh, and this is my 3rd week anniversary of my near beard. here I am in my new hoodie!

Aww yeah, blogger love

Last weekend an old SUUSI friend (and if you don't know what suusi is, then I'm going to ask you how you found my blog....) was in Berkeley for the holidays. Her and her drunk (but very nice) friend met me for hipster pizza in the mission. Laughter ensued!



See how much fun we're having? NOW COME VISIT ME GADNABITT!