What happened w. my House:

Some time ago (end of August), ah reported that my master tenant was movin back. Now this kinda CA rent weirdness is somethang ahm familiar w. (at least by now), but realize many othas are nawt, so ahll explain:

In SF, tha rentin market is very ruthless. We also have a LAWT of people who come by for a short while and then move ontae tha next step of our life. This is partially due to tha large amount of twentysomethangs who choose ta live here. In tha 70s er 90s (can't remembah), laws were passed dealin w. Rent Ordinance. Part of rent ordinance is rent control. Rent control protects tha amount of money you ken raise rent from year ta year providin that tha house doesn't gae on tha market. So a lawt of this happens by having one person sign a lease and be the Master Tenant, (or sometimes Master Tenants). This allows those folks to keep their place cheap and controlled, as well as allows them to change sub-tenants as needed if people flake/move/etc. It's not really a bad thang - except when yer master tenant is a dick.

In many of these situations, the master tenant talks to the landlord and collects money from the rest of the tenants. Technically, master tenants are required to let you know what the total lease agreement is when you move in, AND cannot charge you more then a proportional share of tha rent (as determined by square feet, furnishing provided, services maintained, etc.). Doing the latter is called Rent Gouging.

It's prolly easy to see whar this is gaein. Back in late May of 2008, ah jumped on a relatively affordable, all-inclusive, oral agreement w. some dude ah nevah met, without asking questions like "How much is rent" and "Who's the landlord" and "Do you actually live here?". Ah wanted tha fawk outta El Cerrito, n at 700 a month, w. cable, internet, utilities, n plenty of furniture, it was still a pretty good deal. Especially given tha washer/dryer included, n tha sizes of tha bedroom, kitchen, n backyard. So what if it was a lil sketchy?

It was obvious no one here cared all that much when ah moved in. Howevah, ovah time, it turned intae a bit more of a household. N we started talkin about how it would be nice ta fix some shite up. Namely our back stairs. So we mentioned it ta our maaster tenant, n he blew us off.

We continued ta talk ta each otha, n eventually ah went to tha SF Tenants Union ta see how illegal all this was. Ah learned plenty illegal, but without a copy of tha lease, er knowin who tha landlord was, thar wasn't too much ah could dae. Ah also learned that our master tenant, by nawt livin on tha property, was makin us vulnerable ta a serious rent increase - basically if tha landlord learned Steve wasn't living thar, they could raise tha rent as high as they wanted. N Steve had created an image of a hard ta deal with landlord that we should leave alone.

Aftah tha tenants union, we wrote steve an email (as he had been unresponsive ta verbal requests fer tha lease, er his address, er ta git thangs fixed), requestin all three. He responded sayin he would be movin back in early October, n then we just had ta wait. This also meant he was kickin out my favorite roommate, who had done a lawt ta help build unity in tha household, n that bummed me out. What a dick.

Anyway, ah hadn't brought this up ta really anyone b/c it has been SO dramatastic n unresolved. All of September was a dreadful stressful mess just waitin fer him ta come back...n then he didn't.

On Oct 3rd, aftah Steve failed to meet any of tha roomies when he said he would ta git a key, a new roommate showed up named Trish. I had met Trish before - actually she was tha one who showed me my original room in Steve's absence. Apparently it was a tough time fer Steve n instead of movin back ta SF, he had sent Trish in ta take ovah tha lease. How convenient! AND WEIRD!!

A week er so latah, we had a talk w. Trish n discovered she had nawt yet signed anythang. In this time we'd discovered that Trish was unemployed, n a self-described "Gypsy" who would prolly be leavin fer a month er two at a time in tha future. Also, her second weekend in tha house, my housemates noticed some REALLY strange behavior. Some guy spent tha weekend at our house who didn't recognize Trish's name tha first time someone asked him how he knew her. In addition, she spent tha entire weekend in her room, nawt makin a sound. Apparently she also passed out in tha bathroom, n at one point her door swung open n Oskar said hi, and she appeared drugged out n asleep. Her guest, who was also a wanderer, would leave tha house ta gae in tha backyard every hour er so tha first night before he started sleepin in her room, n when ah went out thar, ah saw a candle lit. Needless ta say, this all was worrisome. Ah gawt naethang against people who don't have a place ta live, but don't need them potentially daein hard drugs in my house.

We didn't bring this potential drug problem up w. Trish because we over tha course of hta discussion, it became obvious that Trish was nawt putting any money towards our rent, was not in a place of authority whatsoevah, n really had nae idea what tha hell she was talkin about. At one point, she even exclaimed "there goes my free rent!". She even told us she had "promised Steve she wouldn't tell us what the rent was." Unbelievable.

So this was tha straw that broke tha camels back fer tha roommie who had been a lil apprehensive about pursuin Steve fer rippin us off. We were finally collectively NAWT OKAY w. payin Trish's rent, and luckily, we had learned n confirmed that our landlord's son owned tha local coffee shop across tha street. Oskar investigated n explained our story.

That would have hopefully fixed it, but instead tha son, while concerned, explained that he didn't have anythang ta dae w. that side of tha bizness. He was actually very nice n sympathetic, but made nae promises. We showed him a copy of tha rental agreement Steve had sent ovah in lieu of a lease when we asked - that was preposterously illegal n gave him ALL tha rites n treated him like tha owner of a place n us people buyin out rooms in his house. Keep in mind Steve hadn't lived here in ovah 2 years - n ah had nevah even met him. In fact, ahd prolly had about 5 conversations w. him via text, email, or phone in tha last year and all of them had led me to decide he was a passive-aggressive drama queen who ah hated.

Tha landlords son said he would talk ta his folks n that we should call him on Monday (whe told us this on 10/21, so that Monday was tha 26 - we'd been dealin w. Trish fer almost three weeks by now) if we hadn't heard from him by then. Instead, on Monday mornin our landlord n husband showed up at tha door - luckily ta meet Melanie instead of Trish. Melanie, while surprised, immediately turned intae a hostess n showed them how great we were. We were especially lucky that tha house was relatively clean that day. Tha landlord had nawt even heard of Trish or received any notice from Steve about him leaving. Tha big news we'd been waitin fer was tha ACTUAL price of tha apartment: $1600. Steve had been collectin 1700 from us SANS utilities (some of which he nevah even paid).

That evenin tha house met (nawt includin Trish of kerse) n we decided it was time ta strike. Tha landlord was gaein ta try n git in touch w. Steve n then git back ta us. We realized at this point tha only card we'd been holdin w. Steve was a "give us tha lease, er git sued fer rippin us off" kinda deal. We sent him an email saying as much, n then went home ta tell Trish tha situation: that we weren't payin rent ta her er Steve, were takin it inate our own hands, n that she would hafta move out since she wasn't payin rent.

Trish didn't put up much of a fight. She said okay, n then we assume she talked ta Steve, n then tha landlord. She came back a lil latah ta tell us "it looked like thangs were gaein in our favor". Then tha landlord called - n we waited a lil ta regroup before callin her back.

Ah only heard one side of that call, but it sounded promisin. Tha end result was that our landlord had ta talk ta "Leo", a name we hadn't heard. We assumed he was tha lawyer, which ended up bein mostly true (technically he's nawt a lawyer, he's a "personal representative & tax/immigration law specialist", whatevah that means).

Leo gawt in touch w. us n wanted us ta come down ta talk ta him - which was right down tha damn street. Honestly, ah sometimes wondah how much time n effort could have been saved by actually gaein intae his office, which clearly read REAL ESTATE LAW on tha buildin, n askin him a few questions. He's sharp as hell (altho a republican), n it wouldnt have taken more then a couple minutes fer him ta figure out whar we were talkin about.

All in all, we won. Tha rent went up, but it's still cheapah fer us (n fer SF in general). We are on tha lease - all three of us. We know how ta talk ta our landlord n Leo is now our property manager. Our landlord is amazing - absolutely loaded, but she, her husband, n thar werkah cleaned up our backyard themselves (wait till you see th apics). She's a lil sweet hispanic woman that is gaein ta give me some tomato seedlins from her garden next summer. Tha back steps are almost completely finished. We kept tha washer/dryer n are replacin tha otha furniture w. our stuff. N ahm gaein ta take Steve ta small claims court - he over charged me 200 bux a month for 17 months AND stole my 700 security deposit outright (he did nawt pay fer November rent). You ken dae tha math.

We signed tha lease on Saturday, October 31st. It was one of tha best days evah. Ahll gae intae tha costumed details in a latah post.....