Why, what are yer Saturdays like?

Yesterday was a good day. Ah went to see particular type of doctor about my Carpal Tunnel problem. This doctor actually doesn't treat Carpal Tunnel, but he does make it so that my life is a little bit easier despite tha Carpal Tunnel. He's not cheap, and insurance doesn't cover him, but ah only hafta see him once a year. N now ah feel pretty confident that each visit from now on will be nice and easy, just like ah want it ta be (tha one ah saw last year was a total dick). Then ah went n renewed my membership here, making my pursuit of my doctor recommended medicine much easier. Ah really am part of a special club.

And then ah dropped my bike off at tha shop fer a free tune-up. Tha place ah bought it will give it free tuneups for life, which is, "hella" sweet. They don't always remembah my name, but they remembah my bike. Good stuff.

Finally when ah came back this was happenin outside tha BART stop (this is nawt tha first time):



Later that evenin, at tha same BART stop (otha side of tha street), thar was what looked like an "impromptu dance party" happenin, as thar were all these early 20-year olds dancing to House of Pain's "Jump Around."

Skip to tha end of tha nite when ah walked all 5 miles home cuz ah wasn't timin tha busses rite. awesome.


(b is actually the starting point)

Ridiculous Catering Story #1

With so much buildup, ahm sure everyone needs an update on that mega-corpo-party ah werked at (n technically will be gittin paid fer).



This is tha playing field of AT&T park (apparently tha SF baseball team is tha Giants, which ah nevah wouldve guessed in a million years). While tha quality is bad (its from my camera phone, you should be able ta make out 1)a dance floor (one of at least 2, n prolly 3 er 4) on tha left, followed by 2)a sledding hill and then, 3)an ice skating rink. 8,500 people were expected at this party, apparently biotechnology is a pretty profitable field these days. 2 of 3 floors of suites and otha high-rise ballpark real estate were rented out, stuffed w. food, bars, bands (ah was stationed near one of tha main entrances, stocking two buffet tables w. food n desert, just next to tha 80s cover band that played 3 sets, each time appearing in a different clothes), airbrush tattoos, n who knows what else. Call time was at 5 pm, aftah wich we were served pasta (ah stayed clear of tha meatballs, but am sure ah ingested some animal protein one way er anutha), n then stood around outside in tha cold, a mess of penguin lookin waitstaff of all types (college student through senior citizen). Then a 45 minute procession of callin off our names and assignin us to stations took place (when all they really needed to do was pick a group of us), n it was ON!

It might just be tha years ahve spent in hospitality, but ah've nevah unnerstood who people ken be so fricken oblivious to thar surroundins in crowded restaurants n partys. Despite our big assed white chefs coats, we were pretty much invisible to tha patrons. Walkin from one section to anutha took 30 minutes sometimes cuz tha assorted bio-techno people were too busy tellin themselves how great thar party was ta GIT THA FAWK OUTTA OUR WAY!

ahll also mention that a bunch of those folks looked real young ta have fancy jobs, but part of that might just be my own projections.

Spendin $$ to break even

Ahve taken one step closer to tha corporate restaurant world today....made me a lil weak in tha knees ta tell ya tha truth. Yesterday ah attended an "Open Call" fer a very large corporation that does event staffing, etc. It took me ovah an hour ta git to, and involved a couple miles of biking (in tha rain, only second time its rained since ah gawt here). Ah filled out an application (noticing that in my recent employment history, only one of those positions was in hospitality, and that was from Australia), n took a written test asking all sorts of important questions like "What side of the plate does the fork go on" (the left) and true/false "The knife should face the plate?" (true). Instead of lookin at my application, ah was asked to summarize my experience, which ah did. (ahve been in interview mode these last few weeks so this part was easy), n was told to come back tomorrow for a final interview. 20 minutes aftah ah arrived, back intae tha rain, on my trusty steed (bike). Aftah ah went shoppin, etc., ahd been out in tha rain fer ovah 3 hours, was way gross, n had spent 7 bux on transportation.

Today ah woke up to tha sound of meowing cat (spoonfull is its name, n thar will be at least one blog post focused on his annoying characteristics), n shovelled off to Pleasant Hill again. Pleasant Hill, as they mite say here, is hella far away from me. My second interview we went over all tha clusterfucks that come w. workin w. a corporation, tha expectations of all their servers, how we were pretty much out on our own ta figure out how we were gittin to n from events w.o travel compensation, n tha incredibly impersonal manner in which we would get assignments (signing ontae a slow website, listin our availability, n then waitin fer one of tha calendar days to turn red, so that we could investigate tha situation and confirm our availability). It's a far cry from tha work ah dae fer Hands On! Gourmet, who organize carpools and compensate you for travel. Then ah found out that my high level of skills, which had guaranteed my "final interview" (quotes used b/c this was nae interview, this was me fillin out w-9s n signin papers sayin that ah wouldnt commit workers comp fraud) would give me tha much-sought aftah compensation of $11.50 per hour. I won't even accept temping assignments fer this little, n those are usually at least full-days werk.

So ontae tha title of todays post, ahve done tha math n factoring in two days of travel to obtain this stupid job (close to 15 bux total), buying an all-black tie which is necessary fer tha event ahm werkin tomorrow ($20 bux at Target, if anyone has evah set out to find a single-color tie in discount clothing stores, they know how frustrating an excursion this is), n transportation from tha event (which is being held at tha fricken AT&T Ball-Park, tha same that some sports team plays at), 6-7 hours of work at my meager (fawkin MEAGER) hourly rate, minus taxes, will maybe put 10 bux in my pocket aftah accountin fer all tha cash spent in tha last 48 hours.

This will howevah, be tha biggest event ahve evah worked (75 servers will be on-call), so ah can't imagine it bein very difficult. Ahll consider it a good day if ahm able ta git back to tha BART (Bay Area Rapid Transport) before tha last train leaves fer tha East Bay. Far from tha idealistic sprout who arrived in CA 6 weeks ago w. a gleam of hope in his eyes fer tha ultimate job, now ah will be happy if ah don't git stuck in downtown SF overnite in dress clothes.

In job-hunt news, tha place that turned me down fer someone who either 1)really is intae a career in development or 2)is a bettah liar then me, passed on my resume to tha place they share thar workspace with. While thats very nice of them, ah dont know how well ahd actually handle working in tha same office as a place whose rejection ah couldnt help but take a litle bit personally. Not to mention tha office bein pretty unaccessible unless you are LOADED, n ah doubt tha otha organization has tha same kind of budget as tha one ahd initially interviewed w.

Anyway, tomorrow is band practice with Warren Teagarden and his drummer, Anthony, n then ah turn intae a faceless drone at some uber-corps holiday party. Let's hope somethin interestin happens so ah ken blog about it, shall we?