2010, Comin round tha bend....

Holy shit wow 2009 is almost done with. Whoo-wee! Ahm lookin forward to tha new year, THA FUTURE!

Ahve been in a fight w. December - ah figured tha only way ta make it thru this month was ta come out fists blazin. First thang first, ah took a day off, n gawt sick. As ah was recoverin, ah scouted ta nova (see below - man, ahve been slackin this month on writin journal posts). Work was nutso, n ah mae sure ta keep every second ah had outside booked w. auditionin a new WTB vocalist (hopin she works out - sings real nice n knows her shite!), auditionin my own band (Drummers already flaked - we'll see if tha guitarist sticks around), musick, sfbc outreach trainin (so ah ken werk tha sweet places), xmass gift shoppin, cutting off my goatee, n of kerse, tha holidaze in Buffalo.



Tha turbulence before tha Great Lakes was one of tha worst ahve evah experienced, but ah made to n from BNIA without much problem. Buffalo was a mixture of sleep, food, family, and booze. Ah believe mom counted 35 er so people overall - 5 of which were between tha ages of 3 months n 8 years, which were (ahem) uber-cute n hella fun.

Sadly, nawt a single fawkin picture was taken as far as ah know at this Xmass, which was a really really good one.

December has pretty much backed off, altho ah did throw up aftah yoga fer tha first time evah (wtf), n ahm feelin pretty good about everythang. Thar was anutha surprise, from my alma mater....ahll extrapolate at a latah time.

Tomorrow is tha last day of 2009. Ah can't say 2009 was a bad year - plenty of good stuff happened (n nawt much bad). Just that ahm supah fawkin excited about 2010.

Instead of new years resolutions, ahma set some quantifiable goals fer myself in 2010. Expect me ta be postin/editin them soon.

2010 is when it all comes togetha people (altho maybe ah said that last year, hah!)

Tha girls of tha internet...

So as you've prolly picked up if you read this from time to time, ahve been usin tha internet ta date since gittin out here. It hasn't been tha only way ahve met people, but it has been tha easiest - in it's own way at least. At first it was just some Crazy Blind Dating, but about a year ago ah turned ta both Craigslist as well as popular online datin site that prolly daesn't need ta be named.

Anyway, some of it went fine, some of it was lame, a bit of it was REALLY lame, ah met some cool girls, ah met some crazy girls, n ah gawt some stories. Howevah, ahm takin a break from it cuz ahm lookin back on my experiences n realizin that thar is really very little return from my investment. First off, online datin is extremely frustratin, especially if you are a male, n possibly more if you are, like me, only lookin to date, perhaps more. Tha amount of unanswered messages sent is mind-boggoling. Ahm very glad ah created a separate semi-anonymous email address for it (yes, ahm creepy like that, but really, ah dont want these fools ta know my last name!)

Anyway, even if thar was a response, n some back n forth, ahd guess it ended up in meetin that person about 30 percent of tha time? Maybe more like 40, ahm obviously guessing here, but suffice to say that those ah met n went on a date with were a small select few out of those I'd messaged or responded to.

But if you know me, ah always dae everythang full-force. So despite this annoyance and frustratin, ah believe ah have met at least 20 women from tha internet in tha Bay Area since last October. Thassa lawt. How dae ah know all this?

Simple. Everyone gawt a nickname, ie, _______-girl. N eventually ah started keepin a list of all tha _____-girls ahd actually met. N of kerse ahve separated them intae 3 categories: Fine (as in, these were good people but we didn't have much in common/chemsitry/etc), Meh (one way or another, I was left feeling kind of meh on the whole thing, whether it was a date or a month, this relationship lacked something and I probably could have done without the interaction), and WTF (who is this creep-show and what are they doing on the market!).

For your added convenience, I've ordered them in descending order of WTF. So now, ah present, Tha Girls of tha Internet:

WTF:
eyebrow-girl
writer-girl
pirate-girl
cycle-girl
oakland-girl
giant-girl
psych-girl
late-girl
boring-girl

meh:
geek-girl
lip-ring-girl
cello-girl
boyfriend-girl
boston-girl
bike-girl
camera-girl
guitar-girl
masseuse-girl

Fine
book-girl
midget-girl
phd-girl (Despite us not being a very good match, we dated for a few months, eventually breaking up because we know it wasn't going anywhere)

Maybe if ahm feelin gossipy you ken ask me about one of them n ahll give you tha scoop! (Maybe nawt tho).

Last weekend....

Ah trekked across tha continental 48 in an aeroplane to attend tha weddin of one of my best n oldest friends, Crazy Paul. It was a momentus occasion - who tha hell thought Paul would evah snag a lady? Lets just say he owes tha internet BIG TIME fer putting Erin in his life.

Ah was the "best man" fer tha event, meanin my job duties were very specific: 1)Stopping everyone from freaking Paul out; 2)Stopping Paul's mom from freaking his bride out; 3)Organizing a night on tha town in Charleston; 4)Making a toast; and 5)Bringing "California Brownies" to tha event (please see a future post for how to make said "California Brownies" as ahm startin ta git tha hang of it finally).

All in all, thangs went pretty well actually. They gawt married in a swamp (a NICE swamp - Cypress Gardens), thar was good food, good people, brownies, alligators, hilariously un-paul-and-erin-like musick (with a couple awesome exceptions), and dramadramadrama. But they gawt married n nae one gawt hurt. Altho we all had a WTF-moment....


Oh yeah, ah had ta wear a tux too. Friday was my birthday n they brought out a cake at tha rehearsal dinnah fer me, which was sweet. Ahll also let you know this was tha first time ahd evah gawten a professional beard trim, n it was pretty decent!

Aftah all tha to-doin, ah spent Sunday on Daniel Island w. a bunch of family ah rarely see. These are tha folks who don't live in Buffalo so ah was especially glad ta catch up w. them, n meet a few additions ta our family. My cousin Dennis (formerly known as Little Den) is a plastic surgeon in South Carolina and recently bought a humungous house fer him, his wife, n his four (four!) kids. My cousins Ron, Kathy, and their daughter Erica, drove up from Florida so we could all be exhausted by tha chitlins. Here we are - almost 3 complete families (just a portion of my Buffalo based relatives)

Let me try to go through all of em, left to right:
Dennis, Ron, My dad, Lori, Emma, Isaac, Abbey, Julianna, me, Kathy (behind me), My mom, Erica (behind my mom), Uncle Norman.

While my family is weird w. tha whole aunts/uncles actually bein cousins thang, Uncle Norman is EVERYONE's uncle norman.

Then ah gawt stuck in layovah-hell, made only bearable by my "California Brownies". N now it's back ta stupid work. BOO!

Thanks fer all tha b-day wishes!

Weird electrical stuff at mi casa....

I'm in tha kitchen, makin a breakfast-y burrito (at 8 pm, yes, it was also a leftover-y burrito) n my roommate comes to ask if ah turned off my lights. Ah told him no, n then saw that tha whole front of tha house was now dark. Assuming this is a fuse issue, we gae ta look fer tha fusebox - in our storage closet, in tha backyard, n eventually in tha sketchy trash alleyway. Without anythang ta gae on, we finally call our master tenant, who lives in LA. Alertin him to tha problem, he gives me a bad description of what ahm lookin for, n tells me he will have an old roomie give me a call soon ta tell me what ta dae.

She daes, n tells me ta look fer replacement fuses that have prolly been thrown out months ago. Then, aftah a few minutes of searchin, ah think we finally find tha rite fuse box. She tells me she's nevah actually done this, some otha dude used ta. Thangs are nawt lookin up. Anyway, we're undah tha impression that we must flip a switch ta turn off all tha power in tha house, unscrew tha fuse, replace it, n then put it back in.

Ah flip tha switch, unscrew this weird green bottlecap thang, n gae back upstairs. Howevah, upon gittin back upstairs, we see that all that lights in tha house are now on again - even tho ALL of them were supposed ta be off. Ah try ta git to tha hardware store n find out wtf, but they are closed.

Anyway, now ah can't help but think that we mite be fawkin somethang up, er that thar is some weird shite gaein on, er at tha very least we misunderstood some directions, but tha "broken fuse" is on tha counter, tha house elec switch is "off", and we have power. Beats me.

Addendum: Minutes aftah tha power came back, just as ah was publishin this blog, our internet died suddenly fer tha third time in 5 days. Thar sendin a technician out on Friday, but until then, thars nae nets at my place eitha. Gross.

Why You Should Nevah Give Yer Numbah Ta Someone At a Yoga Studio

(Even if you both werk-trade thar).

Ah was awkwardly "picked up" yestahday mornin (it's in quotes b/c her actual intentions ahve yet ta decipher) by a fellow werk-trader. We exchanged awkward pleasantries in tha mornin, she laughed at my jokes, n then ended up stayin fer a second class ("because it was rainin - a lil weird, but ah was maybe flattered?). She also moved her mat rite next ta mine which was also strange. Actually, she asked fer my numbah before all that - she asked what my cell was n when ah asked her why, she stammered "so ah ken put it in my phone." Fair enuff, n ah like women who pursue thangs/people they like, so ah gave it ta her. Ah asked "So what happens now" n she told me "you'll see." Ah guess ah saw, but ah definitely don't unnerstand (please note that ah have paid tha utmost attention ta detail in recreatin these text messages):

Crazy Yoga Girl (11:30 am - just after giving her my number): may i Plz hau That Nmbr?

Me (3:28 pm): Welcome to my phone book, cyg, mission accomplished. How are u spendin the rest of this Sunday?

CYG (4:10 pm): TxtualRelationz1drfl (this translates to "Textual Relations -- see Urban Dictionary, Wonderful (1drfl - ah had ta look it up too).

Me (4:27 pm): Yer textin is more advanced then mine but ah ken find online translations. Nae such reference guide exists fer mine yet.

Me (5:13 pm): Longest nite! (in case she was shy or whatever, I'm at least trying to encourage conversation...nawt fer much longah tho)

Me (6:38 pm): *fizzle* (as in my interest)

CYG (1:07 pm): WutLiz@TBTOfTOcnNShAks?GiuUp?ANerusWrek (eventually this was deciphered as "What Lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? Give up? A Nervous Wreck." I'm getting tired of this by now)

Me (1:41 pm): Unsubzkribe

CYG (1:46 pm): IDGI (I don't get it)

Me (1:55 pm): Nae mas porfa. Gratzi n ciao

CYG (1:57 pm): GratzUhurtMyFelngs.DoYQMe? (Great, you hurt my feelings, do you question me?)

Me (2:50 pm): The recipient of this message will no longer accept texts that require translation from your number. Please reformat and try again.

CYG (3:48 pm): ThatWuzAJOk.DoUNoAboutTheCarpets?Thnx4kpnquiet abt it. (I have no idea what this is)

Me (3:52 pm): Message undeliverable, the recipient is bored w this.

CYG (4:24 pm): AUI?WutzFizle? (beats the hell out of me)

Me (4:41 pm): Totally lame, im blocking all texts from this number now. Really (this was her last chance...)

CYG (4:44 pm): QL:QuitLaughingAUI:

Me (4:45 pm): That was the last one

and then I blocked her on Sprint.

Ah can't help but thank its nawt actually a person who was daein this, some fawked up computah thang, but eitha way:

Don't Evah Give Yer Numbah Ta Someone At a Yoga Studio - even if they are cute and flexible.

What daes it take to find a good Hand Percussionist?

An earlier blog chronicled the firing of think13's previous hand drummer - a great guy w. a problem w. sticking up to women who wanted to take advantage of him. Since he left, thar's been a hole in our sound - one prolly only noticeable to me n tha rest of think13. Ah've taken it upon myself ta aggressively look fer a new one b/c, well, thas how ah am. Especially when ah want somethang done. It's nawt been gaein well.

Initially, ah had several misses on replies - folks who didn't have their schedule under hand, or didn't get back to me about ANYTHING (including their name - man it weirds me out when someone's email has a name attached to it - that is nuthang like tha name they sign it with), etc. Finally thar was a potential fit who was less then responsive, n cancelled tha day of b/c of strep throat. She seemed a bit spacey, but hey, we're looking for musicians (n psuedo-drummahs at that) so ah let it fly. We re-schedule fer next week - she even calls to confirm it tha day before - n nevah shows up. Nae call, nae email, nuthang. boo. Unfortunetly, ah wasn't even that surprised.

Next add, ah git anutha email from a very interested n recent transplant to tha area - calls me right back, chats me up fer a while, sounds like it could werk out. Ah send him an email latah w. a tune - hear nuthang (back - nawt necessarily a problem). Call tha guy on Sunday ta confirm, n he tells me tha mp3 didn't gae through, but he heard some of tha otha stuff - will see him on Sunday. Guess what happened?

Dee's convinced thars lurkers on craigslist that dae this just fer kicks - n ah can't say ah disagree necessarily. Ah didn't really expect findin a new drum-guy would be tha EASIEST thang in tha world, but ah was definitely more concerned about havin ta listen ta gawdawful drummin then ah was some person flakin. It's sorta amazing how awesome n awful craigslist ken be dependin on tha day, huh?