Why You Should Nevah Give Yer Numbah Ta Someone At a Yoga Studio

(Even if you both werk-trade thar).

Ah was awkwardly "picked up" yestahday mornin (it's in quotes b/c her actual intentions ahve yet ta decipher) by a fellow werk-trader. We exchanged awkward pleasantries in tha mornin, she laughed at my jokes, n then ended up stayin fer a second class ("because it was rainin - a lil weird, but ah was maybe flattered?). She also moved her mat rite next ta mine which was also strange. Actually, she asked fer my numbah before all that - she asked what my cell was n when ah asked her why, she stammered "so ah ken put it in my phone." Fair enuff, n ah like women who pursue thangs/people they like, so ah gave it ta her. Ah asked "So what happens now" n she told me "you'll see." Ah guess ah saw, but ah definitely don't unnerstand (please note that ah have paid tha utmost attention ta detail in recreatin these text messages):

Crazy Yoga Girl (11:30 am - just after giving her my number): may i Plz hau That Nmbr?

Me (3:28 pm): Welcome to my phone book, cyg, mission accomplished. How are u spendin the rest of this Sunday?

CYG (4:10 pm): TxtualRelationz1drfl (this translates to "Textual Relations -- see Urban Dictionary, Wonderful (1drfl - ah had ta look it up too).

Me (4:27 pm): Yer textin is more advanced then mine but ah ken find online translations. Nae such reference guide exists fer mine yet.

Me (5:13 pm): Longest nite! (in case she was shy or whatever, I'm at least trying to encourage conversation...nawt fer much longah tho)

Me (6:38 pm): *fizzle* (as in my interest)

CYG (1:07 pm): WutLiz@TBTOfTOcnNShAks?GiuUp?ANerusWrek (eventually this was deciphered as "What Lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? Give up? A Nervous Wreck." I'm getting tired of this by now)

Me (1:41 pm): Unsubzkribe

CYG (1:46 pm): IDGI (I don't get it)

Me (1:55 pm): Nae mas porfa. Gratzi n ciao

CYG (1:57 pm): GratzUhurtMyFelngs.DoYQMe? (Great, you hurt my feelings, do you question me?)

Me (2:50 pm): The recipient of this message will no longer accept texts that require translation from your number. Please reformat and try again.

CYG (3:48 pm): ThatWuzAJOk.DoUNoAboutTheCarpets?Thnx4kpnquiet abt it. (I have no idea what this is)

Me (3:52 pm): Message undeliverable, the recipient is bored w this.

CYG (4:24 pm): AUI?WutzFizle? (beats the hell out of me)

Me (4:41 pm): Totally lame, im blocking all texts from this number now. Really (this was her last chance...)

CYG (4:44 pm): QL:QuitLaughingAUI:

Me (4:45 pm): That was the last one

and then I blocked her on Sprint.

Ah can't help but thank its nawt actually a person who was daein this, some fawked up computah thang, but eitha way:

Don't Evah Give Yer Numbah Ta Someone At a Yoga Studio - even if they are cute and flexible.

Da Bitches be KERAZZY this weekend

somethang about tha end of tha year maybe? Ah dinnae. But somethangs gawt intae tha women of SF this weekend. Ah've been:

-affectionately verbally assaulted on tha web by someone ah hadn't met
-written by thrice my usual amount of females on tha internet datin site ahm (kind of) usin
-made plans w. someone that sounded very enthusiastic about what looked like a lawt of fun n then canceled on me last minute w.o an explanation, via text.
-ignored by one of tha few people ah am interested in n subsequently gawt bumped intae "maybe we'll hang out next year" despite her claimed interest
-kissed on tha mouth by an unattractive mostly-stranger
-picked up at tha yoga studio only ta be texted inane lolcatz-typed slang n then ignored (ah think this last one is messin w. my head tha most)

Anyway, whatevs. Couple more days ahll be outta here n by tha time ah come back ahm hopin ta have a great week, hopefully sans too many of tha nutzos (altho ahm sure ah won't avoid em all - that would be borin). Maybe it's tha beard?

All ah really want fer xmass...

- Bike modifications (specifically, fenders and a carrying case that won't interfere w. how ah lock it up. Ah rode my bike in tha pourin rain today (how pourin? Ah was tha only cyclist on valencia street. Apparently ahm more crazy then tha rest of tha San Franciscans) n about halfway thar ah noticed my back tire was sprayin water all ovah tha ass-part of my jeans. Luckily ah dae have some bike pants donated from a friend of my old landlady.

- Down time to play my bass (likely ta occur).

- A new computer (hahahahha)

- An Ampeg SVT-410HLF. Ahve wanted one of these fer ages n was able ta play on one last week at tha think13 gig w. my current head n it sounded phenomenal. Ahm hopin by my birthday ahll have enuff? Eh, maybe more like June.

- Tha Rockit Room ta gae out of bizness - WTB had a gig scheduled but b/c our bookin agent couldn't guarantee more then 80 people (pretty good fer a shitty club on a Wednesday tha week before Xmass ah think), they shut tha gig off (they wanted at least 125. Fawk that place.)

- My wrist to completely heal

- A vaporizer. Oh wait, ah bought myself one of them last month.

Happy Yule ta everyone. Ah hope you spend tha season warm w. people you love. Ahll be in just-gawt-ovah-a-foot-of-snow Buffalo, NY fer a few days, n then back here fer a stay-cation. Just in time.

Rate my quiz high! Hate tha otha one!

I wrote a quiz on Hello Quizzy and entered in their "The 80s" contest. Not only was writing the test a lot of fun, but I'm actually in 2nd place in both categories (quality and amount of test takers). Usually I don't get all that competitive, but the test that is beating me in quality SUCKS! It's a 16 Candles Trivia test, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the writer doesn't even score your results. I've spent 7 hours or so on making mine as good as possible, and this loser took 80 minutes and then stopped short.

SO! HELP ME WIN!
Take my quiz - What Kind of 80s Metal Are You? and give it a rating!

Then, take the other quiz - 16 Candles Trivia and when you realize it sucks, give it a rating!

And let me know what kind of heavy metal you are - the results still need some tweaking ah think.

Godspeed!

Fawkin Prop 8

Prop 8 forced the state of California to only legalize marriages between a male and female (I wonder what CA's official status on a heterosexual marriage between two transgendered (or just one) people would be. My guess is it might just be totally legal....but ahm makin that up). Anyway, tha point is, that Prop 8 passed, n that proposition was so inhumane n evil n christian it made me swear at high skool students from a bus window. N ah like, NEVAH dae that anymore.

Anyway, ah made a friend in 9th grade on my skool bus. We had lil in common, expect fer likin booze n hard punk. Somehow, we've maintained contact and friendship all these years. We disagree on pretty much everythang, as hes mostly conservative n ahm, well, you know, me. But we've maintained a friendship and respect for each otha despite all that.

But ah was just chattin with him, n he told me he opposed tha backlash ta proposition 8 because it was voted on. N ah can't hang w. that. Yes, his point is that if voters vote on it then its law - but somethangs are rite, n some are fawking wrong. Ah git democracy n all that shite, but if you can't take tha blinders off n recognize that people are fawkin idiots n mite vote ta support bullshite, then fawk off.

Ah blocked him. That might be tha booze ah drank at tha event ah just catered (hippy uu medievil gothick weddin), but really, prop 8 is so evil n stupid n ugly enuff that ah have lil problem cashin in a friendship of 13 years fer.

Seriously CJ - we knew this time would come. See ya on tha otha side....


I'd love to title this caption "asshole" but I'm not queer so think it doesn't totally werk, but my said friend IS married

Cracks me up/WTF

In the last month or so, I've had a few "dates". Some were actually "not-dates", as in, the person had specifically stated that they were not interested in dating, but still interested in meetin me. Ahm generally okay w. this, altho ahve resolved nawt ta dae it w. anyone who doesn't have obvious similarities with me anymore. Cuz, Ahm So Vain....

Tha thang that cracks me up tho, is only two of those "actual dates" have resulted in me bein interested in seein tha person again. N both of thar names is sara(h). How bout that?

(haha, at least none of them spell it all stupid like!)

Anutha weekend in the Mission....

I love love LOVE the mission. Today I went out for a couple hours, bought a suitcase (thats small enuff fer carryon but big enuff ta hold stuff!), a new backpack (old one died n tha ones from werk are junk), a soft zippered hoodie (from a thrift store), a tamale, a belt, and some socks for 60 bux. I almost bought a grinder but it was too expensive - next paycheck tho!

Last night was a fun night - I went to this work/live/artspace studio in the lower Haight where a bunch of bands played and they had a bake sale to raise money to get tubes to bring light from outside into their work space and not to spend money/energy powering the tons of lights they have in there. But the really cool part was actually the journey to/from. About 9 of us met up at a local bike shop, had a beer, and then biked there together. While not Critical Mass it did give us the presence of a vehicle. We stuck to traditional bike routes so we didn't really fawk up traffic that much, but it felt really awesome to be part of a temporary bike gang as we all made our way to alcohol and musick.

Oh, and this is my 3rd week anniversary of my near beard. here I am in my new hoodie!

Aww yeah, blogger love

Last weekend an old SUUSI friend (and if you don't know what suusi is, then I'm going to ask you how you found my blog....) was in Berkeley for the holidays. Her and her drunk (but very nice) friend met me for hipster pizza in the mission. Laughter ensued!



See how much fun we're having? NOW COME VISIT ME GADNABITT!

in case anyone cares about southpark...

Ah've watched south park faithfully since its inception. Ah very vividly remember thinking that show could either be truly awful or amazingly great. I don't think I really pictured it making 12 seasons worth of television, but I give it props for being one of the smartest (although mostly b/c it's so current) things on tv.

I don't really laugh at south park anymore. I find it amusing, and sometimes clever, and often stupid, but I don't really laugh out loud all that much watching it. That doesn't bother me. And because it's creators are internet friendly, it's had a stable net presence for a few years (although I do remember back in college when I made friends w. some admin on a fileshare site, who made episodes for me so I would share them).

Anyway, you can always watch any southpark episode at the following places:
South Park Zone
South Park Studios

Other places that have caught on to the online video tips (in case someone isn't aware)
The Daily Show
The Colbert Report
NBC.COM (I watch Third Rock, The Office, and My Name is Earl)
Fox.com (New Simpsons episodes aren't always awful, and who doesn't love to hate House?)

Anyway Turkeys, happy day!

Why, what are yer Saturdays like?

Yesterday was a good day. Ah went to see particular type of doctor about my Carpal Tunnel problem. This doctor actually doesn't treat Carpal Tunnel, but he does make it so that my life is a little bit easier despite tha Carpal Tunnel. He's not cheap, and insurance doesn't cover him, but ah only hafta see him once a year. N now ah feel pretty confident that each visit from now on will be nice and easy, just like ah want it ta be (tha one ah saw last year was a total dick). Then ah went n renewed my membership here, making my pursuit of my doctor recommended medicine much easier. Ah really am part of a special club.

And then ah dropped my bike off at tha shop fer a free tune-up. Tha place ah bought it will give it free tuneups for life, which is, "hella" sweet. They don't always remembah my name, but they remembah my bike. Good stuff.

Finally when ah came back this was happenin outside tha BART stop (this is nawt tha first time):



Later that evenin, at tha same BART stop (otha side of tha street), thar was what looked like an "impromptu dance party" happenin, as thar were all these early 20-year olds dancing to House of Pain's "Jump Around."

Skip to tha end of tha nite when ah walked all 5 miles home cuz ah wasn't timin tha busses rite. awesome.


(b is actually the starting point)

Just a few SF observations

1) It's 72 degrees today. While that is great news for my warm-weather lovin self, it does make tha holiday-themed coffee drinks (eggnog lattes, peppermint mochas, and pumpkin pie chai) seem a little strange and unappealing.

2)SF has an abundance of people in wheelchairs. While that's not surprising, as it's a very handi-accessible city, ahve noticed that a LARGE majority of these folks actually push themselves with their feet. I'm not trying to be unsympathetic to their problems, but ah can't help but think that wheelchairs were designed with people who CANT USE THAR FEET in mind.

3)When tha Board of Directors are in town (fer my jobby job) thars 50% MORE people wandering around my floor talkin to themselves.

Fired up

So, about a month or so ago, ah decided it was time ta bite tha bullet. Yes, ahd tampered w. Crazy Blind Date in tha past, but that was easy, nae commitment, lil effort. But ah surveyed how my datin experience had been werkin within my limited circle out here, n decided ah needed ta branch out. In daein so, ah embraced tha concept n practice of online dating.

Skeptically (my first real girlfriend found me on myspace - oy), ah first went to tha LIST, figuring that at least tha list would be desperate, so ahd prolly git a few decent stories out of it. Ah thought (incorrectly) that by usin craigslist, ahd be cutting through tha bullshit. Ah was wrong. Those craigslist girls don't write back, at least nawt more then once er twice. Hah, tha most response ah gawt was to my two RANTS in which ah posted an ad, but really bitched about how shallow they were. That sure taught em!

Aftah that mishap, ah ended up signin ontae one otha datin site (won't link it, but ahll give so many hints its impossible ta ignore - it's free, it's nationwide, and it's got all these personality tests) n have met w. ups n downs. Originally, ah felt class-a ignored, but recently thangs have turned around a lil bit. In fact, tha online datin thang has resulted in 4 dates in 4 week days. It's almost a little daunting.

Anyway, don't expect too many juicy details, but ah dae promise ta try n let people know about how this particular social experiment is daein in vague n quantitative terms.

Oh - and I'm growing a beard next week. Git excited fer my next beard!

Sweet!

Sometime in the last two weeks my phone's microphone died. I'm not sure when exactly, but it was sometime before my friends couldn't hear me using the handset. So I went to tha Sprint store, expecting some of thar legendary anti-customer service. Instead, ah was told that they would try to fix it fer 35 bux, or they could give me a replacement (even though my phone isn't insured anymore, and nevah was w. them!).

They couldnt fix, n my phone is out of stock, so they said they would check ta see if it was backordered because ah didn't want tha "similar replacement" which from my understandin is still a musick phone, but sucks royally in comparison ta tha one ah have. They hadn't gawten back ta me, so ah came back today expectin ta just suck it up n git tha shitty phone, ta find that my phone had come in. They suped it up, n were so distracted by how long it took, fergawt ta charge me!

Shhh!

All Gimped Up....

so my spill is slowly gittin diagnosed by doctors who will actually talk ta me.

In good news, thar almost positive its naethang worse then a sprain.

In bad news, ahm wearin a gimpy wrist splint n cant play bass er bike fer a couple weeks.

Lesson: Don't git cocky when you are drunk on a bicycle.

3 thangs (in non-chronological ordah)

1) Holy Shit, BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT! Makes me feel like all tha time ahve spent supportin his supporters online n siftin through nasty anti-obama emails was nawt in vain. SF is rippin shit up outside, whoopin n hollerin n dancin. Haven't heard anythang like it since livin in Bawstan near fenway park. All in all, I'm glad, but really ahm more relieved then anythang - relieved its ovah so werk ken slow down, n relieved that sarah palin wasn't a heart attack away from bein president.

2)Last week marked my 1-year anniversary on tha "left coast" as my east-coast friends keep referrin ta it. Monday, Oct. 27th actually. Thas a lil crazy ta think about.

3)ah need ta stop readin too much about wrist injuries online yet keep readin enuff so an incompetent/negligent docktah doesnt mis-diagnose me. Ahve recovered from all parts of my fall except thars still pain in my left wrist, n if thars somethang that needs ta be done about it, lets dae it now!

I fell....

These days whenever I have a good weekend I seem to pay for it in physical pain/soreness for another week. Example 1)Bruised tailbone a la weddin in NC. Example 2 occured this Saturday.

It had been a DAY. Boozin w. tha band since 3 in an effort ta relax a bit while we play (they need it, nawt me), then to a bar fer a quick veggie sausage (ah love tha gestalt house). Aftahwerds, we hunted down a party er somethang - nawt that we really expected ta find one. This led us first intae tha Haight ta bother our new guitarist, then intae tha Richmond ta bother our otha one. Unfortunately, our richmond based guitarist passed tha hell out, n we eventually found ourselves at a bar that made us feel like we were back in College. Ah dont remembah what piece of 80s bubblegum pop made us leave eventually, but it was time.

This then began tha best bike ride of my life. Tha richmond district is a bit elevated from tha part of tha city ah spend most of my time in, n by followin my SF native on his bike, ah discovered tons of great back roads that had awesome slopes and were completely void of cars. Tha temperature was about 65 degrees and it felt amazing - a lite fog and mist in the air. Ah was really enjoyin tha ethereal summer/fall that was Saturday.

Of kerse, this led to some cockiness on my part. Roundin a turn, ah remembah feelin my momentum gaein forward. Ah knew ah was leanin forward, but didn't realize tha extent of it - until ah hit tha ground. Luckily tha left half of my body broke most of my fall - ah did have my helmet on but didn't dae anythang ta my head.

This resulted in 6 - 8 scrapes on my left hand, hip and leg. My wrist is sprained - nawt fractured. All this did was prompt me ta gae intae tha nearest convenient store in my daze n git some band-aids. Tha drummer had neosporin - n we were off again.

Just as we were about ta pack it in that evenin, we ran intae this girl he'd been tryin ta find all nite. This turned intae a nite whar we crashed two parties - one in a warehouse, one in a closed bar. Tha latah was an industrial dance party (meanin no one really danced, hah) where they kept givin out free shots of shitty tequila. Finally around 4:30 we dragged my buddy's drunk friend back to our bikes. Thas whar ah discovered my flat tire (tha second in as many days)

So ah walked 4 miles home at 5 am - took about an hour. W. a bruised leg, meanin ah favored my right foot a bit too much. Ah did nawt make it ta yoga tha next mornin.

Ah think ahm on tha mend - took class yestahday n gawt a massage today (serendipity inspired my masseuse ta offer a 20 bux off discount that ah cheerfully took advantage of). Ah played too much bass on Sunday n am takin it easy fer tha BIG ASSED HALLOWEEN SHOW that think13 is playin this Friday (nevah mind that tha flier says our name is Vagaboom) w. dancers n fire n lights n all sorts of great shit (nae juggling or stilt walkers like tha website says tho - we don't dae that).

Anyway, here's tha pictures of just some of tha scrapes ah endured:

Left Hand


Left Hip


Left Front Thigh (my favorite - check out tha spiral in tha scrape)


Good times....

Oh yeah....

Ahm totally in a new band n we have videos n stuff from our stint at Expressions College of Digital Media (see et tu bass?) You can find all 3 of the individual videos here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/weethebandsf

But since ah love ya, here they are:

Postman


Rise


Glass of Wine


Note: The audio came out very quiet for all of them so you'll probably half to crank it.

Unfortunately, our favorite song had some technical difficulties. BUT, you can listen to Absolution on the Wee the Band website. You can even download it - for free.

Keep in mind also that I'd had all of 4 practices with these folks over the course of 5 weeks before playing this. Nawt too shabby. Tha whole video is also watchable from tha website itself.

We played last nite at tha ReTox Lounge in tha dogpatch to a bunch of very nice asian people who were thar ta watch thar friends. Ah managed yet again ta make it through tha nite w.o payin fer a single drink!

Just a taste

I went to North Carolina for a Scottish beach wedding. The UUHC threw a party and everyone was invited (well, almost everyone). I might try to put a couple more up here when ah have time, but thought ahd just dae a small chronicle. How much has changed in 8 years (holy shit, 8 years).

July 2000


Same crew, different poses this past weekend:


Ah think we know who would win in a fight.....altho tha latter crew can probably outdrink tha first bunch of misfits by now.

Green Butter

My cooking experiment yesterday turned out just shy of 2 cups of green butter. Lets hope it changed that color for a reason!



(aka, I'm getting excited about North Carolina.)

I am a financial moron

Well, nawt exactly. Ah have a fairly decent handle on unnerstandin finances, savin, puttin money whar it needs ta gae. Actually ah ken be really good at it. Ah wouldnt say ahve been daein absolutely amazin since movin out here (as thars still a pretty good hunk of credit ta be paid off n nawt all that much in ye olde bank accounts), but ah at least THINK ah have a handle on everythang (nevahmind that ah keep sayin "in a couple more months ahll be out of tha red").

Howevah, things break er ah need new stuff er x, y, and z. Ah just blogged about my bass breakin at tha gig - tha cheapo bass that has all sorts of ugly buzzes n hums. Ah took it ta git it looked at at one is obviously le creme de la creme of guitar stores (36 yelp reviews, 35 of them 5 stars). Ahve wanted ta supe this baby up fer quite some time - n hoped that ahd be able ta dae so fer about 200 bux (maybe plus some 70 dollah pickups).

Tha verdict: It would cost $25 ta git tha White Devil (ah know, its a horrible name, but shes a total bitch) back to functioning. Ta dae tha overhaul ah know it needs - 350 dollars. Possibly a smidge less - we'll see if my small talkin helped. Ah did nawt drop tha "B" word (berklee) n maybe ah should've - er maybe nawt.

He felt obligated ta let me know ah could EASILY git a BETTAH bass fer this much money n then have two basses. Ah let him know ah knew what ah was daein, that me n this bass have some real chemisty togetha n ah really love it. He unnerstood, but ahm sure he was crackin up internally b/c this thang would prolly git me 50 bux at a pawn shop. N has a serious problem w some strings - which ah wont gae intae cuz ah fergit tha terminology n its borin.

Ah mean, ah agreed. Ah also really hope that my amp wont run me anymore then 80 bux so ah ken put tha remaindin 320 from tha sale of my carvin acoustic/electric towards tha upgrade. What really stinks is ah still need ta drop 300 - 600 n git a new cab. AND ah still want a new 4-string, but a really really badassed used one.

anyway, it will be worth it. But its nawt tha soundest financial move, especially w. tha markets n all that crap, ta invest so much in so little. But fawk it. Ahve gawt friends ah ken couch-surf w. if shite gaes down (at least ah hope so).

Altho - My 401(k) kicks in this month. That cracks me up fer SOOO many reasons.