Sometimes, ya gawta be an asshole....

Good thang ahma natural at it!

A few days ago apparently our ISP had a power outage, er somethang. My computah has been finally kickin tha bucket fer tha last week (Er more specifically, my hard drive has) so ahve been daein so many reinstalls, it seemed natural that ah couldn't git my wireless connection gaein.

Howevah, ah just put a new (Expensive) 160 GB hard drive in and was still havin problems w. tha net. N nuthin my quick fixes could override. So today, ah pull up our wireless routers page and try to reset tha connection, keeping tha old password. Aftah a half hour of failed troubleshootin, ah finally contact linksys support (which is generally a very high scorer in tha SUCKAGE olympics). For over an hour, mr. Troy A (17150) asks me meaningless questions n offers no advice via online chat (Which has shorter wait times then telephone). Finally, he just disconnects.

Oh no he didnt! So ah call customer support n am on hold fer ovah a half hour (nae surprise thar). Ahm told that b/c my adapter is ovah 3 years old, they can't help me, even tho ah tell them ovah n ovah that tha adapter isn't tha problem, ah need help w. a relatively new router. Aftah hearin tha same spiel 3 times, ah ask to speak w. a supervisor. Yes, tha bitch in me had come out. Ahve been havin problems w. linksys customer support fer YEARS, n it was time ta dae sumthang about it.

Only ahm told that b/c tha supe is busy, ah can't talk ta her. HELL NAE! Ahm nawt steppin down now! Ah've already wasted 2 hours of my life, ahm gittin internet back dammit! Ah complain fer a few minutes, insist that ah git some sort of contact info er somethang, etc. When ah talk to tha supe, she seems somewhat nonplussed that ah was disconnected, n ah explain that tha problem is tha new router, nawt an old adapter. Ahm put back on tha line w. Mary, who tells me ta download some client that barely works, n treats me like ahm 4 years old. Ah tell her that if she's gaein ta walk me through a client meant fer idiots, she's wasting both of our time, n she ken eitha put me on tha line w. a REAL technician, er ahll just hang up n be disgruntled n make it my mission ta git undah linksys' skin. Actually, ah tell her this about 5 times b/c everytime ah say somethang to that affect, she continues ta try ta walk me through tha client (so if you just double-click the next button and highlight install....ahm nawt an idiot, woman!).

BUT, instead of lettin me gae, she does put me on tha phone w. a real Tech person eventually. Tha real tech person doesn't feed me a script, but listens to my complaints and situation. She (nawt) surprisingly doesn't find any info in my case numbah, n ah explain that ahma pretty pissed off customer who may be gittin tha brush-off. She walks me through a fairly intricate process of updatin firmware and re-establishin an IP address. Ahm nae technological moron, but ahm far from a techie, n its nice ta FINALLY talk ta someone who has instructions n knowledge. Aftah 20 minutes er so, n a phone call ta verify tha orginial ISP username and password, internet access is restored! Ah tell her that ah had ta be a real asshole ta git on tha phone w. her, n am sorry about that, but it wouldn't have gawn that way if previous folx had listened ta me. Thars a simpsons episode in which Bart gives Mr. Boo-urns blood, n its only aftah Homer writes a nasty lettah that they git a reward (some big weird head). Marge remarks that tha lesson could be that "tha squeakiest wheel gits tha most grease", n that kept runnin through my head. Cuz honestly, if ahd treated customer service tha way a NICE person would, ah wouldnt be able ta write this blog (at least from my computah).

Ah felt tha need ta apologize ta my land-lady, b/c ahm pretty composed n chill around tha house. N while ah didn't yell er anythang like that, she definietly heard me exchange strong words n see me in an intense, focused manner that ahve tried ta leave on tha East Coast. But, it gawt shite done, n in tha long run, thas WAY more important ta me then bein nice ta mildly incompetent customer service people.

on anutha note, ahve been watchin tha showtime series "Dead Like Me", which features music by Stewart Copeland (ahm assumin tha same Stewart Copeland who plays drums fer tha Police n Oysterhead), n its quite engaging. Ah like that Ellen Muth isn't really super-hawt, even tho it confuses me that Mandy Patinkin ISN'T Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap. It's available on tha previosuly referenced QuickSilverScreen as well.