"Teeth" Review

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Ahll admit, half of tha appeal of this movie is its ridiculous idea coupled w. a Poison song title as tha tagline(one that I cover). And the trailer totally won me over - purposely awkward, a touch gorey, and really they are makin a real movie about a toothy vagina? Fer serious?

So ah couldn't find anyone ta see it with when it was in local theatres (cuz tha Bay area gits EVERY FRICKEN MOVIE EVAH!), but ah did recently snag a copy now that its hit DVDs.

"Teeth" delivers pretty much everythang you could n should expect from a current independant but classy horror movie about a penis-chomping vagina. Tha film itself totally knows whar everythang is gaein, but tha particpants are only vaguely clued in. Tha acting is quite good (Jess Weixler won Sundance for her performance), the script is mostly good (plenty of bad moments, n a poorly developed brother-in-law give it the right amount of cheese), and it's a great example of "show, don't tell" (without ever giving us a real view of whatevah tha hell it is w. tha aforementioned teeth - specifically that the dialogue or movie doesn't necessarily explain what you are seeing, nor does it give you voice-overs. Then again, its not too complicated...). And of course, there are scenes of completely amputated prosthetic peni (nawt exactly what ah was lookin fer, but ah had assumed tha gore factor would mostly be in that category). Tha sound-effects are pure troma, but everything else is quite well done.

It builds tha tension nicely, n tries its best ta keep you off-guard while not being outlandish. Tha whole thang has a great digital "Sheen" to it that actually works. In short, the movie tries w.o trying too hard, n succeeds because of that (in my opinion). Thar won't be a bettah movie about dick-eatin-pussies fer quite a while. Probably.